Happiness Saboteurs

"Those who hate to see you happy are unhappy." 
~ Caren Paskel

Has anyone tried to sabotage your happiness? Those who can't stand to see you thrive and be happy are simply unhappy themself. You must keep thriving and being happy. That is the grandeur of a human being. Everyone has the right to find happiness and peace if they choose. One must never allow a hater to ruin someone else's life just because they are miserable. That's on them, not you. Happiness saboteurs feel a need to project their unhappiness and pain onto someone. Beware and prepare so that you will not experience an unexpected disruption in YOUR happiness.

There are two types of unhappy people in the world: 

1. Those who are unhappy and want to change. They desire a new way and are willing to seek assistance or guidance to make changes within themselves to achieve a better existence. Rather than seeing happy people as threatening, unhappy people who want to change see what they want to be. They strive to be better. They notice those that model the energy, vibe and frequency of living that they would like to attain. This person does not hate, envy, or seek to destroy another's happiness. They are focused on what they must do to rise up and grow. The work I do helps facilitate the necessary actions for growth and happiness!

2. Those who are unhappy and don't want to change. They work to bring happy people down to their level of misery. Somehow, they believe that will make them feel better. In their attempts, they may say or do unkind things to others. Rather than seeking personal change, or minding their business, they outwardly direct their shit onto you or others. There's a lot of energy and time spent trying to pull you down. And if they are successful, there is a feeling of power and control which deflects their own unhappiness. It is a coping mechanism.

Unhappy haters hate themselves, not you. You may feel deeply hurt, even baffled by their behavior. That's the reaction they are looking for. However, there's a better way. Rather than taking another's actions personally, turn your hurt into helping yourself!

In fact, here's a thank you note to the happiness saboteur. 

Dear _________, 

Thank you so much for helping me be a stronger and better person. Your behavior and actions help me to increase my mental strength and stamina. You give me an opportunity to grow by rising above, carrying on and not personalizing. I will not allow anyone to rob my peace and happiness. My only hope is that you find your way and peace. Thanks again for showing me that life is too short to be unhappy. I am even happier because of you. 

With gratitude and appreciation...

Please feel free to send this letter to any happiness saboteurs or write it for your own healing. Share with anyone who may be a victim of a happiness saboteur. Let's spread love by learning how to handle the hate! 

The happiness saboteur is hurting and wants to hurt others. Recognize their pain and agony. As Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." Maurice Maeterlinck eloquently stated, “Happy and blessed hour, when wickedness stands forth revealed as goodness bereft of its guide.” They can't help themselves because they do not have the proper guidance. 

I have been the recipient of words and actions by happiness saboteurs. I live happily even after tragedy and loss. My husband, the love of my life, passed away of brain cancer a little over a year ago. Do I miss him every day? Yes. Do I wish that he was still here? Yes. Will there be anyone to ever replace him? NO! Am I miserable? NO. Am I suffering? NO! Am I thriving because I believe in myself and that I am worthy of happiness no matter what happens? YESSSS!!!!! I choose to be happy. Others may disagree and continue to attempt to bring me down. 

Happiness is a choice. Don't fall for a takedown. Observe. You will see how unhappy the saboteur is feeling. You will have compassion. No need to take anything personally. Love from afar and wish them well. Lead the way and set a POWERFUL example. An unhappy hater may decide they want to change. No one really wants to be miserable. Spread love. Smile and say THANK YOU for making me stronger. 

Avoiding Drama!!

"Drama dies when you choose not to keep it alive." 
~ Caren Paskel

Drama spreads like wildfire. Are you fueling and feeding it, or are you putting the flames out? 

How you live life is your choice. If you choose to merely live a mundane existence you will be caught up in the mundane drama. You will go high with the highs and low with the lows. You will be involved in everyone's business and you will get turned and burned by what everyone says or does. It will feel like it's all happening TO YOU. Does this kind of existence sound fun, peaceful and productive? 

There's another way to live. Ask yourself, is this serving me and others? Is this helping or helpful? When you ask these simple questions about your thoughts, words and actions, you begin to THINK for yourself. You open to a new way of living, perhaps from a different perspective. 

Here's an exercise: visualize and observe your family as if you are watching a movie and they are the key characters. As you view from this angle, what do you see? Is everyone respectfully minding their own business? Do they have an attitude of "live and let live"? Are they gossiping, judging or blaming others for their problems? Are they lecturing one another? Are they telling each other what to do and how to do it? Are they saying you are wrong and I am right? Are they even talking to one another? Is anyone listening to what others are saying? 

To find a way out of drama, you will have to decide not to be a part of it.

• Step one is to step away!

By engaging in any drama, you will be fueling and feeding it like adding logs to a fire. That fire will burn more fiercely. By stepping away and choosing NOT to engage, the drama fizzles out at some point. Drama kings and queens will still create, find and feed drama BUT you won't be a target as you're not keeping the flames alive. 

You may wonder why there is so much drama. Great question. When you live at the level of the mind and its emotions, preferences and impulses you will be caught up in this shitshow. When you operate at the level of the world you are continually caught up in pairs of opposites (up/down, high/low). You are attached to family, friends, coworkers, jobs, politics, etc... You define yourself by the things you have, not by the things you are. You believe all of this matters and you are deeply affected by it all. Once you are aware of this, you can find a way out of it. And, the only way out is in. 

• Step 2: Choose a different path.
  

When you shift your life, everything shifts. When you decide to work on yourself, you can rise above the drama. You'll know it does not serve a positive purpose. It only supports negativity and attachment. Drama hurts! Once you are on a Spiritual path, you help yourself by learning the Truths of life that enable your evolution as a human being. Developing your intellect, voice of reason, you're able to mange your mind and your feelings. You outgrow and rise above drama. The higher qualities of life lift you to greater heights. This, in turn, allows you to help others. When you go UP the drama goes DOWN!

I have been the target of drama. It is difficult not to be upset when someone close chooses to target their issues, problems, beliefs, views and opinions onto YOU! However, if you step away, you add no fuel for them to continue. Be patient. They will find another target because that's the way they choose to live. They don't know another way.

Once you choose a path of self development, you cultivate compassion and forgiveness for yourself and those who are dramatic. You realize they don't have the proper guidance or the tools to help themselves. They are merely projecting their issues onto you because it temporarily helps them feel better, or shifts the focus away from them. It's really not about you. Remember this so that you don't get burned by the drama flames. Step back, and give space away from them, rather than adding fuel. And keep working on yourself. Take the higher road that leads to living a beautiful, fulfilling and happy life. 

I'm here to help lift you up and away from the burning flames of drama. I will help you define your new path, one that is empowering and helps you live your best life. I'm here to guide you as a mentor and educate you on the Eternal values to live by that enable your transformation. My clients are experiencing NO MORE DRAMA and we are having a BLAST living. Let's connect and get YOU out of the fire and into the light! 

Drama dies when you are not giving it life! Here's to choosing NOT to engage in drama.

Make Your Dreams A Reality; Live A Badass Life

YOGA CLASSES  ~  MENTAL TRAINING COURSE   ~  EVENTS  ~  CP'S BLOG

Are you living a badass life? Are you living your dreams? 

I'm here to help make it happen! If I can live my dreams, so can you. 

Does the concept of "radical transformation" make you feel uncomfortable or scared? Ask yourself why. Most likely, your answer is holding you back from exponential growth.

I've entered a whole new phase of life. And in Mental Training 2.0 I will open up and share my most intimate and personal growth with students who choose to work with me as their mentor. 

Try this exercise. Sit down and take a few deep breaths. Imagine what your badass body looks and feels like. Imagine feeling positive emotions, pure love flowing through your veins as you effervesce with joy and happiness. Envision objectivity in decision making and taking nothing personally. You are independent in thinking rather than following others. You act like an adult with the energy of a child. You're beaming from the inside as it shines to the outside while you walk on this earth. It's almost as if you know a secret that nobody else knows. You are abundant on every level, including financially. Anything that happens, you are able to handle. Any roadblocks or shut downs, you find new doors to open. If something goes away or anyone leaves, you miss them but are able to move forward with gratitude. You are a lighthouse, radiating light. You get along with everyone and have few or no problems with what happens in the world. The world feels like a giant playground. You are not a slave to your career and you are able to fulfill your duties and obligations joyfully. You have everything you need and anything on top of that is icing on the cake. Paint your own picture... This is the first step in making your dream life a reality!

THERE IS NOTHING YOU CANNOT ACHIEVE AS LONG AS YOU BELIEVE 

Go all the way. That's what humans are born to do, to evolve not devolve. The world will continue to change and there's no inherent happiness in anything external. Radical transformation happens from the inside out. When you delve into yourself and go beyond the material layers, therein lies your divinity. That is the greatest treasure of all. But first, you have to uncover to discover and that takes Spiritual Education and Mental Training. We can do it together! I want you to have a badass life and live your dreams just like I am doing. 

If you are thinking about or wanting to enter a new phase of your life, we can go there together with an elite group ready for their radical transformation. This is not for everyone. And space is very limited.  Think of transforming from a caterpillar to a brilliant butterfly. It's rare meeting anyone who desires this metamorphosis. Perhaps staying small or fear of an unknown future hold you back from making your dreams a reality. Is that how you truly want to live? 

In my late 20's, after one year of Spiritual Education and Mental Training I was able to do all of the following in a matter of only a few years time:

• Exit an unhealthy marriage

• Get off all medications for anxiety, depression and sleep

• Address my health issues to start healing

• Leave my job of eleven years that no longer aligned with my mission

• Become founder and owner of EnSoul Yoga studio

This was just the beginning. I had no clue how amazing life could be or what was coming. It's hard to understand how anyone would not want this kind of HUGE growth for themself. I know that I could NEVER have done any of the above (or the below) without the right kind of LIFE knowledge and the proper mentors and gurus to guide me. I have an ARMY of support at ALL times. 

Through consistent Spiritual Education and Mental Training in the last few years I have been able to:

• Find the true love of my life and marry him

• Own my first home with my husband

• Travel the world

• Close my studio location and reinvent my business during the pandemic

• Get along with my entire family despite drastically different viewpoints and beliefs

• Be a caregiver to my beloved when he was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer

• Watch my beloved peacefully die as I was filled with gratitude for all he blessed me with and taught me

• Turned my home into a private yoga studio with Onyx the Great Dogi as our emotional support dog and mascot

• LOVE myself inside and out from head to toe

• Pitch up higher goals and play all my roles

• THINK BIGGER to make a global impact

That is radical transformation! In one year, I went from building a 3-month mental training course plus coaching to building and implementing a 12-month mental training course that will enable a radical transformation from the inside out and outside in. That is exponential growth! This new phase of my life is badass and I can't wait to share. You won't even recognize yourself after this year. Who is this badass woman? It's ME living my dreams! 

If you think you might be ready to be a total dream-living badass,  fill out the application below. I will meet you where you're at in your journey. What matters most is that you're hungry for IMMENSE growth. We will find the right program fit for you. The course options and mentorship is tailor made just for you;)

• Mini Mental Training Course

• FULL Mental Training Course 1.0

• Mental Training 2.0 for Radical Transformation with option to become a transformational coach

• Monthly Mentorship for Radical Transformation

All of the above will enable your transformation. There's no stopping a badass. There's nobody stopping you from living your dream life except for YOU. 

Here's to being a badass👊

"If you want to live your dreams, don't just dream about it, LIVE IT!"

- Caren Paskel

For Home Studio Address Please Email: info@ensoulyoga.com

Or Call: (248) 331-7136

Complaining Is Draining; Be A Winner Not A Whiner!

Are you drained from your own or someone else's complaining? Become a winner and quit being a whiner! Complaining drains your time and energy, and the time and energy of the person receiving your complaints. Simply put, complaining doesn't:

1. work
   

2. change anything
   

3. improve relationships or situations

4. help solve or resolve a problem

We may need a shoulder to cry on or a hug and we can ask for that. We can vent, be expressive, heartfelt and authentic with our feelings. That's not moaning and groaning, nor is it complaining.

I used to complain all of the time! So much so, that as a child, my family nickname was "complains a lot". This dragged on through my 30's. Then, at 36 years old I met my husband, David, who thankfully made me aware of this low quality. He was only 24 and did not complain EVER. He was a man of action rather than reaction. This is one of the main reasons I married him. Unfortunately, at just 30 years of age, David passed away from brain cancer. Remarkably, he did not complain when he wasn't able to walk or use his right side. Not after falling down the stairs multiple times. Not even when he was having seizures, horrible side effects to his meds or when his cancer spread all throughout his entire brain and he lost bodily functions one by one. This man was and still is my hero! In honor of his courage, I vow not to complain again!

I was an expert complainer and did not even know it. In fact, my complaints were encouraged and enhanced by friends and family members. It was a way to get attention and feel loved and heard. What I did not realize was how much this hurt me, negatively affected others, and impeded my career and personal development. 

If you want to be a winner and not a whiner, try this experiment. For 24 hours focus only on what you DO have and what you CAN do rather than what you don't have or what you cannot do. After 24 hours without complaining while filling your cup with gratitude and positive thoughts, write down how you feel. What was your experience talking with others? Did they respond to you differently? Now note, if you did this for one day, try for two days! Keep it going and you won't be drained. You will be refueled and fired up. You will become a problem solver!

Complaining does not solve or resolve anything. 

You may be thinking, how do I distance myself from a complainer? If you are on the receiving end of complaints, you need to set boundaries and help steer the conversation or complaints in another direction. Phrases like, "thanks for sharing" or, "I have a few minutes to talk if you feel like venting I am here to listen. Then I have to get to work or take care of the kids". This way you are not being harsh or disrespectful but at the same time honoring yourself and setting the proper boundary to stay uplifted rather than being overexposed to someone else's complaints. You could also change the subject, "Isn't it a beautiful day" or "I want to tell you something really awesome that happened!" If they are someone who is open to your feedback, tell them how you truly feel. This is communicating.

My husband did it FOR me, not TO me. He made me aware. And, I am grateful for the honesty and tough love. I was ready to receive it and desperately needed someone to tell me to just STOP. It was a hard habit to break. I worked to overcome my complaining with my higher quality desires to grow and evolve. Becoming aware was the first step to changing. 

Complaining impedes growth and development. 

Be a winner, not a whiner! During Mental Training and coaching, students share their WINS on every call and in every session. Asking for help, support or guidance is NOT complaining. Sharing a challenge or story is NOT complaining. Working through a hardship is healthy. Struggling is not complaining unless we complain about the struggle. Focusing on your wins and successes is winning not whining.

If you are ready to move from complaining and draining behaviors to being grateful, blessed, and positive, let's connect! I work with people who are ready to TRANSFORM! The time is now. Make today the best day no matter what. Do something for YOU to make yourself better. Schedule a free Developmental Call with me and let's see if we are a fit to work together. 

Sending positivity and light without complaints! 

Love,

CP

Become Evolved And Not Involved

How to know if you are becoming evolved or getting involved:

• Do you lose sleep over something that happened in the past or that may happen in the future?

• Do you experience upset in relationships?

• Are you bothered by worldly affairs?

• Do you get agitated by those who think differently?

• Do you find it hard to mind your own business?

• Do you take things personally?

• Do you avoid certain people with whom you have a close relationship because of opposing views, beliefs or personalities?

Likely you answered YES to one or more of the questions. Know that it is impossible to be at peace when you are more involved than evolved. Find the way out through Mental Training and Spiritual Education!

There's a way to be part of the world and NOT caught up by its fluctuations. You can have close relationships without entanglement. And you can do your work and not take it home with you (even if you work from home).

By learning and applying Eternal Values, yoga philosophy, to your everyday life you lift yourself up to a higher level of living. When this happens your involvement goes beyond the material. You spiritually evolve. Mental Training builds your voice of reason, your intellect. Spiritual Education helps you become spiritual. Therefore, you are able to step back and observe from a different vantage point. You develop objectivity. You begin to recognize the 'show called life'.

THE MORE OBJECTIVITY YOU DEVELOP, THE MORE PEACE YOU CREATE.

Wouldn't you rather be entertained versus drained? During a recent family interaction I chose to not get involved. I recognized my teachings had helped me evolve. As with many family events, it began with one person and grew to many more. One person told another and then things became something else! My intellect allowed me to watch all the traffic. You know... the whispers and distortions that you hear from others. People became upset based upon hearsay. What was right or wrong? The point is that I stayed calm, in control, and untangled by taking the stance of an observer. I watched all the commotion and reactions. Of course, not everyone will approve of your words or actions. That is ok. You don't have to approve theirs. You can remain calm by minding your own business. Do the right thing and move forward.

MOVE ON RATHER THAN CLING ON.

Then I traveled. There were 'rules' for me to visit. Did I agree? NO! Was I upset? NO! I had a great time despite opposing feelings and preferences. I know that feelings and preferences originate from the mind and can cause problems if left unchecked. So why let them get you trapped? There was opportunity for me to express my views, but also respect other opinions.

You can get along! You can have different viewpoints. There are ways to communicate. You can be happy no matter what else is happening in the world, at work or at home! But, YOU need to climb higher. YOU need Mental Training. YOU need Spiritual Education.

Fortunately, I'm a Mental Trainer and Spiritual Educator:) My clients are rising above personal and worldly changes and challenges. You can too!

When you are ready to rise above the B.S. and enjoy life every day call me. You can have it all! Let's work together and create a way out of the entanglements that restrict your peace. Let's become EVOLVED rather than get involved.

With all the love and NO enmeshment or attachment to your decision, I hope to hear from you.

Peace IN,

Caren Paskel

What To Achieve And Why?

There are many trainings and coaching programs. I want to help make sure not to waste your time or your dime on a program that won't help reach your goals. Recently, in talking with a student about my Mental Training Course, they inquired about certified continuing education hours. Realize that additional hours, credentials and certificates do not guarantee a level of expertise.

Before enrolling in any training or program, ask these important questions:

• WHAT do you want to achieve?

• WHY do you want to achieve this?

You may want to become a 500 RYT (registered yoga teacher with Yoga Alliance). Will this make you an expert? Not necessarily. It will give you 500 hours of yoga training and a certificate. It does not guarantee competency. It may satisfy a requirement for a job or permit extensive learning from a certain teacher or studio, however.

Years ago, when I lived out of state and attended classes with many notable yoga instructors, I was already teaching yoga.This was without completing a yoga teacher training! Others nearly convinced me that I needed a certificate, and I was ready to commit to a program. Another well-respected teacher advised, "you already know more than most about yoga because you have been practicing and you're already teaching. If you take a teacher training, ensure you fully resonate with the facilitator and align with their style of teaching." I ended up NOT taking yoga training then. Meanwhile, I taught at gyms, the beach and at several studios. The only certificate I had was my CPR!

What I truly wanted to achieve was getting rid of anxiety, misery, sorrow and depression. I wanted to resolve my issues around eating and perception of my body. I wanted to feel good in my own skin and in relationships. I also wanted to work in a field that was in line with my nature and was enjoyable. I wanted to be happy and help people find their happiness too.

Multiple training hours and dollars did not make me an accomplished yoga teacher, enhance my career or provide happiness in my relationships. So what eventually did? Spiritual Education and Mental Training! More hours may give more information, but if you do not know how to use the information, it's useless.You could earn degrees and credentials, but if you don't have LIFE knowledge, eternal values, to live by and the proper guide to work with, you may not experience the TRANSFORMATION you truly seek.

As another example, I believed if I was in perfect physical condition I would be happy. I got there and I was still unhappy. Looking good did not equate to feeling good or finding mental freedom. I had the same mind in a fit body. Where was the enjoyment?

Also, I thought if I had a life partner and a marriage I would be happier. NOPE! In fact, it was the opposite. When I learned how to love myself, we got divorced. Learning how to receive love and not depend upon it, allowed me to build a healthy relationship and share life together.

• If you have many training hours but you have not internally changed, what's the point?

• If you are not evolving, becoming happier, healthier and more peaceful, what are you doing and why?

Perhaps, instead of gaining more training hours, it's time to do something different. Have you considered focusing on Self Development, learning, applying sacred values and integrating these teachings? Do you want to SOAR materially and spiritually rather than chasing hours, time, energy and money? Work on developing yourself and becoming a better person. You will become better at whatever you are doing.

Believe that it is WORTH spending time and investing in Self Development. I am ready to talk about how WE can take your life to the next level. Spiritual Education will help you get MORE out of your life!

Love to you all,

CP

Relief From Grief Through Resilience and Adaptation

Grief is difficult to explain. It’s an emotion, most often resulting from some type of loss. Sadness may be grief's relative, but true grieving reaches deeper and is multi-faceted. I certainly had never grieved, to this degree, after losing my husband to brain cancer. Loss may be an unfortunate part of life. However, there is a way forward. Resilience and adaptation brings relief from grief. 

First, let’s talk about where grief and all emotions are rooted: THE MIND. Yes, that wonderfully wild mind of ours houses our emotions, preferences and impulses. Know that a mind without proper guidance is like an untrained puppy - all over the place and difficult to control. An unattended pup would ruin your home, eat everything in sight and most likely hurt itself as well. Likewise, when your mind is unattended, it may act similarly. It may eat everything in sight, destroy your home, life, relationships, business and yourself.

Thankfully we have an intellect to oversee our mind and manage our emotions! Our intellect is the faculty residing in every human that is able to reason, judge and decide. It guides our body and our mind. It can even contemplate beyond the mundane world to the transcendental. 

This does not imply that emotions are erased so that we don’t feel. Understand that the highest ancient philosophy known to mankind reveals that we may have emotions. It is important not to be overcome by them. This means we keep on keeping on. We move toward our best selves. The pinnacle of our existence, what the yoga masters refer to, is Enlightenment. When we become consumed by any singular emotion, we become prey to that emotion, thus impeding our growth and evolution.

This all sounds dandy except that our intellect will not function effectively without development. Since everyone, including ourselves, has been catering to the mind, it has become stronger than the intellect. This means that our emotions, preferences and impulses are running our life and decisions. Uh Oh! This is in lieu of a sound and clear head. So, we RUN into all sorts of problems, we get stuck in our emotions, and are held back. This is not a way to live nor a way to move on. Emotional grief has the potential to stop you dead in your tracks and keep you there… 

Building intellect is not so hard to do in theory. Why is it easy in this world not to? Because we follow a herd mentality more and think for ourselves less. This may be why we have so many problems. Have you ever sought counsel, therapy or asked anyone for advice or guidance? We all have at some point. Well, think of that job as the role of the intellect. If you build your intellect strong enough, it will be your counsel and guidance through life's obstacles, conflicts, difficulties and losses. My guru, Swami Parthasarathy, teaches all students that you must do two things to develop your intellect:

• Do not accept anything for granted

• Question everything

This basically states, THINK things through and don’t follow what everyone else is doing! There’s a bit more, as well, but you can apply these two principles any time no matter where you are.

If you truly want to grow yourself, know yourself and be able to evolve spiritually, you need to take up study on higher values. This empowers your intellect. Reflect on universal truths of life. These are time tested laws. If you want to study the Bible, Koran, yoga scriptures or any other religion or philosophy, that is up to you. Make sure you have a teacher, guru, or interpreter that you TRUST so that you don’t misinterpret the teachings. When we study eternal values as our first daily action, our mind is focused and restrained from getting caught up in day to day external affairs.

A strong, available intellect allows you to have emotions, including grief, and also permits focus on other daily actions. My husband died and I have wept and will continue to shed many more tears, but they do yield. And, I can live my life by slowly returning to daily actions, obligations, roles and work. Relief from grief comes from a greater understanding of life and having a strong intellect that keeps emotions in check. 

Resilience is the capacity by which we can overcome difficulties. You can’t be resilient without a strong intellect. Without engaging the intellect, the mind overpowers the ability to be resilient. You feel lost and alone, clinging to the past. You may feel hopeless towards the future, and question how life continues without what you have lost. An alert and available intellect helps us feel our emotions while still moving forward. You find the ability to act to reemerge into everyday life. Inner strength shines through. The strong bonds of affection are cherished but we also evolve and grow. Resilience helps heal wounds while we continue living. 

Humans possess the power to adapt and readapt. As an exercise, evaluate how you worked through other losses. Was it life altering? If we utilize our capability to adapt in smaller moments we will be able to adapt during the big events, such as living without a loved one. Adaptation allows us to continually adjust to live under present conditions, even when someone dies. Major occurrences require greater adaptation. Small steps, patience and pacing yourself permit you to discover the new way of living. 

Grief is a healthy and healing process. It helps one feel, honor and release pain that comes from loss. While honoring the loss, be cautious not to lose more than what’s already been lost. If grief  holds you hostage, you don't want to metaphorically be buried alive. Loss is a certainty of life. Control and build your intellect. Manage your emotions to control yourself. Allow space for natural resilience to shine through. Be willing to adapt. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist if you are overwhelmed or overcome. Experience the process, as I am now, to find relief from grief. 

-CP

Being Prepared Instead of Scared

Nobody’s prepared for ANYTHING. It’s like a bomb drops every time something happens. Every event becomes a major THING. My husband is living with terminal brain cancer and my business has been shut down during the pandemic, to cite a few current difficulties. However, being on a Spiritual Path, I’m prepared instead of scared AND enthusiastically moving forward despite obstacles. 

In observation; family members are getting crushed by the state of the world, others are spiraling downward from the world spinning, people are consumed by what’s been lost and too many are playing the never ending blame game. It’s total and utter madness. Life doesn’t have to be this way. What if there’s a way to prepare ourselves rather than scare ourselves? When we prepare for life and its occurrences, we’re able to face challenges and move on. If we’re unprepared, we live in fear. From that place, decisions are based on falsities and misinformation. We crumble. 

If you want to stop being scared, there’s hope. The following story might help. 

My husband David and I went out for dinner recently, celebrating our three-year wedding anniversary. Normally, David is not an emotional man or a big sharer of feelings. Since brain cancer, he has changed. He still doesn’t emote or share much, but when he does it’s truly magnificent. Presently, he isn’t able to move, function or live the way he’s accustomed to. Most days he feels unwell and stays home. He can’t drive. 

That night he spoke these words with tears in his eyes, “My mind is blown away by you every day. I have never seen anyone do what you have done and you did it. You did it all. At a time that is extremely difficult, with our situation, you are thriving and doing amazing things. You are helping hundreds of people - not just our family. You got it right and you are all set. I don’t need to worry if something happens to me. It makes me so happy to see my wife excel in every way. You don’t even need me.”

Hearing this made me think. Why is it that I am thriving when things are so chaotic? While I do love David dearly and want him in my life forever, he’s right. I don’t need him. When we NEED anything or anyone, we fuck ourselves into a dependence on external factors for our happiness. As David said, “I don’t even know how you did it,” I replied, “I know how I did”. 

When students comment, “I would have never even known you were going through something like this”, I give them the same answer. It’s simple. I am prepared because of Spiritual Education! I found higher values of living through yoga philosophy. These eternal teachings are practical. For years, I’ve followed a routine of study, reflection, absorption and application to my everyday life. 

Here are some of the main values, that I live by:

• Do what you ought to do not necessarily what you want to do

• Think everything through and make sure it aligns with reason and logic 

• Feel but don’t make it a big deal

• Be objective and shake it off

• Have an attitude of service and sacrifice in everything you do

• See the light even through the darkness 

• Be in contact with eternal truths of life every single day

If you don’t have higher values to live by you can’t grow higher. You won’t be prepared for your 30-year old husband to have terminal brain cancer, a world pandemic, your business to be shut down for half a year, all while your home has been under major construction. You won’t be prepared for birth, death, eviction, divorce, loss of job… The list goes on because that’s the state of the world. Constantly fluctuating! People, places and things come and go. When we pick and stick with a true spiritual path, we will be prepared for anything and everything! 

There’s no need to be scared if you’re prepared. Get on a path, stay with it and watch yourself rise above all the B.S. If I can do it, so can you!

CP