Are you drained from your own or someone else's complaining? Become a winner and quit being a whiner! Complaining drains your time and energy, and the time and energy of the person receiving your complaints. Simply put, complaining doesn't:
work
change anything
improve relationships or situations
help solve or resolve a problem
We may need a shoulder to cry on or a hug and we can ask for that. We can vent, be expressive, heartfelt and authentic with our feelings. That's not moaning and groaning, nor is it complaining.
I used to complain all of the time! So much so, that as a child, my family nickname was "complains a lot". This dragged on through my 30's. Then, at 36 years old I met my husband, David, who thankfully made me aware of this low quality. He was only 24 and did not complain EVER. He was a man of action rather than reaction. This is one of the main reasons I married him. Unfortunately, at just 30 years of age, David passed away from brain cancer. Remarkably, he did not complain when he wasn't able to walk or use his right side. Not after falling down the stairs multiple times. Not even when he was having seizures, horrible side effects to his meds or when his cancer spread all throughout his entire brain and he lost bodily functions one by one. This man was and still is my hero! In honor of his courage, I vow not to complain again!
I was an expert complainer and did not even know it. In fact, my complaints were encouraged and enhanced by friends and family members. It was a way to get attention and feel loved and heard. What I did not realize was how much this hurt me, negatively affected others, and impeded my career and personal development.
If you want to be a winner and not a whiner, try this experiment. For 24 hours focus only on what you DO have and what you CAN do rather than what you don't have or what you cannot do. After 24 hours without complaining while filling your cup with gratitude and positive thoughts, write down how you feel. What was your experience talking with others? Did they respond to you differently? Now note, if you did this for one day, try for two days! Keep it going and you won't be drained. You will be refueled and fired up. You will become a problem solver!
Complaining does not solve or resolve anything.
You may be thinking, how do I distance myself from a complainer? If you are on the receiving end of complaints, you need to set boundaries and help steer the conversation or complaints in another direction. Phrases like, "thanks for sharing" or, "I have a few minutes to talk if you feel like venting I am here to listen. Then I have to get to work or take care of the kids". This way you are not being harsh or disrespectful but at the same time honoring yourself and setting the proper boundary to stay uplifted rather than being overexposed to someone else's complaints. You could also change the subject, "Isn't it a beautiful day" or "I want to tell you something really awesome that happened!" If they are someone who is open to your feedback, tell them how you truly feel. This is communicating.
My husband did it FOR me, not TO me. He made me aware. And, I am grateful for the honesty and tough love. I was ready to receive it and desperately needed someone to tell me to just STOP. It was a hard habit to break. I worked to overcome my complaining with my higher quality desires to grow and evolve. Becoming aware was the first step to changing.
Complaining impedes growth and development.
Be a winner, not a whiner! During Mental Training and coaching, students share their WINS on every call and in every session. Asking for help, support or guidance is NOT complaining. Sharing a challenge or story is NOT complaining. Working through a hardship is healthy. Struggling is not complaining unless we complain about the struggle. Focusing on your wins and successes is winning not whining.
If you are ready to move from complaining and draining behaviors to being grateful, blessed, and positive, let's connect! I work with people who are ready to TRANSFORM! The time is now. Make today the best day no matter what. Do something for YOU to make yourself better. Schedule a free Developmental Call with me and let's see if we are a fit to work together.
Sending positivity and light without complaints!
Love,
CP