Worrying Doesn’t Work!
By: Caren Paskel
A few words of caution:
Yield if you are easily offended
Yield if you enjoy worrying
Yield if you’re offended by profanity
If you’re any of the above and want to change, please read on!
Please keep an open mind while viewing from an objective standpoint.
In conjunction with our current unprecedented pandemic and mandates to social distance, many of us are feeling worried. But, would you rather be a warrior or a worrier? A warrior faces fears, overcomes concerns and charges forward in action. A worrier hides behind fears, gets crushed by concerns and collapses with inaction or inappropriate actions. Worrying won’t enable us to take proper action. On the contrary, it will do the very opposite. Worrying doesn’t work!
Become educated on the origin of worry. The mind houses our feelings, emotions, preferences and impulses. The mind also has a tendency to oscillate from the past to the future. Without proper guidance our mind is in a constant state of worry and hurry! Worry is an emotion derived from the assessment of threat or fear. While the threat may be real, worrying won’t be helpful in dealing with whatever problem arises. We have the power to intercept and redirect our emotions. To be a warrior, learn to regulate the mind. This requires a well-developed intellect.
The intellect is the capacity to reason, judge, and decide. It is our guide. And, it serves to hold the mind steady and in the present. Envision intellect as mental reins. If the reins are loose, the mind is free to go where it chooses. If we remain present and alert, worry won’t have an opportunity to take us off course. There will be nothing to worry about! To be clear, a wandering mind without guidance allows worry. When our mind is uncontrolled, we risk becoming a worrywart!
Now for the HARD truth: both worry and anxiety stem from our own selfishness. Yup! Draw a line back to the root and you will find a big fat ‘ME’. You may be thinking, “when I worry about my children, or another person, how can that be selfish?” Or, “It would be selfish to not worry about my family, the homeless, other beings, or the coronavirus, and so on”. STOP! THINK!
Does worry actually solve problems?
Does worry make you feel good?
If the answer is NO, then there is truly nothing to worry about!
When we think about what will happen to us, or how we are affected, we experience stress. If we remove ourselves from the picture, worry disappears. From this place, we become stronger and available to use our intellect. This will move us through life and allow us to be warriors!
"If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you can't solve it, then what is the use of worrying?" -Shantideva, 8th century C.E., Indian Buddhist sage
Worry isn’t needed for preparedness. There are always threats to our well-being. Additionally, the world is constantly changing. Since we already know this, there’s no point in worrying. Why? Because, worry limits and blocks our ability to think clearly. And, rational thought is the ONLY way to make good decisions and take right actions in our lives. Let’s celebrate not needing to worry and being able to calm ourselves the fuck down. Yes, we can be calm even through the greatest challenges. We can find peace even during the Coronavirus pandemic. Of course, the perceived threat to our health, business and lives may not be to our liking, but guess what? The world itself doesn’t give a fuck!
“Worry adds nothing to preparedness, but it does add excess emotional baggage that, ironically, can heighten anxiety and interfere with your ability to function at your best. In other words, why worry?” -Jeffrey S. Nevid
Ultimately, when the focus shifts to helping, contributing, sharing, loving, learning, growing and becoming the best version of ourselves within the world, we feel uplifted. We may even feel GOOD rather than anxious. The positive will overcome the negative. Unselfishness will contain, or rein in, worrisome thoughts. Peace will prevail. Without peace, negative emotions will run amok. We accomplish FAR MORE when we find peace of mind in the present moment. We can become warriors!
How to become a warrior:
Recognize that behind every emotion lies a thought. Emotions are a by-product of thought.
In order to control negative emotions, focus on your thoughts. Try to monitor inner dialogue and thoughts.
Once a disturbing thought is recognized, examine it using intellect. Ask if there is evidence to support its validity. What disputes or challenges that thought? Is there another approach? Begin to expose logical flaws and inconsistencies in each disturbing thought.
Shoot offending thoughts down with rational bullets. Keep notes as reminders. Basically, these are intellectual reasonings and rational statements that keep you present.
PRACTICE! This will take effort. If we want to strengthen our mental awareness, we will need to practice rational thoughts/statements frequently.
Use your intellect to THINK about what’s happening in the world. Then, STOP the mind’s negative thought flow by REPLACING it with positive, uplifting, and rational ones.
Worrying weakens our ability to be our best selves and impedes our growth. When we limit our worries, we become warriors of life. We rise above internal and external challenges. When worry approaches, remember that worrying doesn’t work! Let’s endeavor to be warriors!